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October 16th, 2009


02:24 pm - Alcohol if fun, but...
Wow, being at this point just sux.



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September 15th, 2009


02:35 pm
Well, I was going to write about a cop I know that got shot a few days ago. I'll save that for a later time. Instead, this is a great vid (it's slow at the beginning, but stick with it).



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July 29th, 2009


07:50 am - Always cry at endings



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July 16th, 2009


04:12 pm
Hold onto the past, you bastard,
it's better for everyone that way.
Think of what you missed out on,
don't pay heed to the present.

Blame it on your father,
avoid talking to your mother
You stupid stumbling drunk fucker.


Well, you know who I am
So don't treat me like I'm someone else
Yeah, you know where I am
So don't act like I'm somewhere else
You never talk like that to no one else
You never scream like that for no one else
You never suck like that for no one else
Current Music: Petty - Grew Up Fast

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July 14th, 2009


02:19 pm
This economy blows. Taxes going up, property value and stocks going down. I have an idea, let's tax the shit out of those who are actually supporting the economy and then cut back on the police so that those stealing from those supporting the economy have an easier time doing so. Sounds great. Oh yeah, and when I go to the bar to blow off steam after working one of my three jobs lets have a cop make sure that I behave myself while someone gets mugged just down the street.

Would the righteous still remain? I doubt so.

I hate thinking about exes of mine. I hate it because it always makes me think of something that I did wrong during the relationship. Unfortunately, I've rarely been able to separate my long-term memories from a long-term relationship. That's human nature I guess. I suppose that is why God designed us to just be with one person forever. But, almost none of us have achieved that, and so we walk around with emotions still attached to people we no longer even speak to on a regular basis. Sadly, in truth sometimes we even wish for the person to fail in their life because we don't want to think we made a mistake in parting ways with them. Sad that we could wish worse for someone for whom we used to "love" than for a complete stranger.

Now I personally don't wish ill on any of my exes, but OTOH I don't want them flaunting their happiness in front of me either. Hmm, I should bear that in mind for myself actually. Slainte!

From the album "Michigan":

Oh God, where are you now?
Oh Lord, say somehow
The devil is hard on my face again
The world is a hundred to one again

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June 4th, 2009


10:32 am
I hate you all. That is all.

I see four horsemen
With dark eyes and bright wings
And look at my wrist
And please tell me what you see
Cause there is a book
Do you see the name written there?



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May 22nd, 2009


03:18 pm
I love this guy.



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April 28th, 2009


02:48 pm
Wow, have to love retirement parties. There's a reason I'm the youngest one of the group hanging in the back plotting revenge upon the grandchildren of each and every one of them. Goodbye sir, and let your mysterious (forced) retirement live in the storied annals of C&T history forever. Inappropriate pictures off young children was the least of your eccentricities.



Also, Ireland looks amazing. Pictures are forthcoming.
Current Music: Tool - Eulogy

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April 1st, 2009


08:21 am
24 hours from now I will be on my way to Ireland.  It's been a long wait, I've been wanting to go for quite some time now.  A lot of people doubted that I would actually follow through.  I even doubted it myself, but it's happening now.  Sure it's going to be hard on me financially, and sure it's going to be hard to understand people there.  It's also going to be hard to get around and then there's always the possibility of plane delays, not to mention that I'm claustrophobic and hate being on planes in the first place. 

But, Belle and Sebastian put it best:

Get me away from here I'm dying
Play me a song to set me free
Nobody writes them like they used to
So it may as well be me
Here on my own now after hours
Here on my own now on a bus
Think of it this way
You could either be successful or be us
With our winning smiles, and us
With our catchy tunes, and us
Now we're photogenic
You know, we don't stand a chance
Oh, I'll settle down with some old story
About a boy who's just like me
Thought there was love in everything and everyone

You're so naive!
After a while they always get it
They always reach a sorry end
Still it was worth it as I turned the pages solemnly, and then
With a winning smile, the boy
With naivety succeeds
At the final moment, I cried
I always cry at endings

Oh, that wasn't what I meant to say at all
From where I'm sitting, rain
Washing against the lonely tenement
Has set my mind to wander
Into the windows of my lovers
They never know unless I write
"This is no declaration, I just thought I'd let you know goodbye"
Said the hero in the story
"It is mightier than swords
I could kill you sure
But I could only make you cry with these words"



Current Mood: [mood icon] anxious

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March 26th, 2009


10:05 am
Well kids, in a week I shall be leaving for Ireland. Perhaps I will come back. Also, the Stang is up for sale. Gotta pay the bills. Hate my jobs right now, but I can't really complain in this economy I'm lucky to have one job, let alone two. Oh, and I'm starting a new one in a month.



Current Music: Apoptygma Berzerk - Fake to Black

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February 16th, 2009


03:43 am
I changed the lock on my front door,
I changed the number on my phone.
I changed the kind of car I drive,
I changed the kind of clothes I wear.
I changed the tracks underneath the train,
I changed the name of this town.
I changed the name of this town.


and yet...love remains.

Sorry for the absence. Been busy with lots of things which will pass in time.

Whateva.  Life is life, for all of us.  Was told tonight by a friend of mine something I thought was quite interesting:  "I'm the first black man who will tell you this, but we sold our own people out.  We sold ourselves into slavery with ignorance."  

That takes some balls.  Just sayin'.  He's a  cool cat and we rapped about everything from the economy to hollywood "hip-hop" to what caring about each other in a capitalist society really means.  I wish I could have more real conversations like that.  Sometimes people make you realize that money and status don't mean jack-shit when it really comes down to it.  

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January 29th, 2009


10:04 am
Perhaps tonight will be the night.  All my life I've been waiting for a bartender to say this to me:

"Get in here, Boozy! You're late for your drunkening!"  -Moe



I want to forget.


Current Music: Stavesacre - The Trouble With Being Born

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January 27th, 2009


03:36 pm

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January 22nd, 2009


11:22 am
This is from a couple of months ago, but I missed it the first time around. Wow, just wow.



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January 15th, 2009


02:42 am
I know that everyone hates just reading song lyrics, but between getting (almost) mugged, (possibly) quitting my job, questioning not just my own sanity but the sanity of the world, being scolded by my friends and realizing that those I thought I could trust are as self-centered as I am (not sure who that falls on), I have to post one more.


You saw sagacious Solomon

You know what came of him,

To him complexities seemed plain.

He cursed the hour that gave birth to him

And saw that everything was vain.

How great and wise was Solomon.

The world however did not wait

But soon observed what followed on.

It's wisdom that had brought him to this state.

How fortunate the man with none.

-Dead Can Dance

p.s. Within the last few months one of my friends got robbed at gunpoint, I myself was almost mugged, another friend 
had her purse stolen to the tune of $800, another friend was afraid of being raped and thus wisely ran, I had a lot of 
money stolen from my wallet while playing hockey (along with several other friends), and other personal issues, please 
bear with me for the time being.  Apologies.


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January 14th, 2009


07:50 am
Goodnight baby, sleep tight my love
May God watch over you from above
Tomorrow I'm workin' what would I do
I'd be lost and lonely if not for you

So close your eyes
We're alright for now

I've spent my life travelin'
I've spent my life free
I could not repay all you've done for me

So sleep tight baby
Unfurrow your brow
And know I love you
We're alright for now
We're alright for now

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January 8th, 2009


04:19 pm - TSATS - Death in the City (some days I feel this way)
Gold
More precious than gold
You measured it, and then you felt you
You fell through all the floors you left below
Below it's cold
But how could One who came to save you ever leave you or forsake you?

But now you give it away!

Want you
Need you
Love to lie to you
I don't want you when I need you
When I need you, I don't want you

I spooned my soul
It measured well
Despite the words and songs of my youth
I never knew that one could be so unwhole
This world rots your bones
But there's One who comes in kindness
Won't you pull off your blindness?

Want you
Need you
Love to lie to you
I don't want you when I need you
When I need you, I don't need to want you
Need you
Love to
I couldn't lie to you
I wouldn't lie to you
Current Mood: [mood icon] calm
Current Music: They Sang As They Slew

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January 6th, 2009


03:59 pm
Wow, this is really cool.  I applaud a company that can make a product for the military which will actually save lives, instead of ending them.



On another note, I hope everyone had a good Christmas and New Year.  Mine was ok.  I definitely enjoyed the time off from work.




Current Music: Collective Soul - Compliment

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December 26th, 2008


02:20 am
What can I say about this?

Whether you are religious or not, Christmas is supposed to be a time to spread love and cheer.  I send up a prayer for the families involved in this incident.  I'm really sad.  Wow.

Current Music: Tom Petty - Crawling Back to You

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December 23rd, 2008


07:11 am
So just before I got up for work this morning I had quite a dream. I work in the same building as my dad, just down the hall from him, but we hardly speak. He's not my real father, although he adopted me when I was young. He is a hard guy to get along with, although ever since I moved out of the house it's much easier.

Anyway, here's the dream in first person:

My dad is a CSI, and I am an intern. We are investigating a mob hit in the prohibition era. The tools we have available to us are rudimentary at best for combating the mob, however we must do our jobs and make progress on our cases.

In this particular case, we have an independent bootlegger who was murdered by the mob. He was shot 9 times while driving his vehicle, which can most closely be called an RV. We find his body in the rear of the RV, a curious thing since the RV is parked right on the road. After examining blood spatter we determine that he was definitely shot where he lies, not placed there.

We search the area for casings and determine that three guns were involved, all tommy guns of the untraceable kind. 12 casings are found in total, .45 caliber and typical Lugers. 1 casing was found several hundred feet in front of the vehicle, two were found on the driver's side toward the front, and the other 9 were found at the passenger side front. My dad postulates that in typical mob fashion, one shooter at the front brought the vehicle to a stop by firing a round in the air. We know that this is the victim's worst mistake, in bringing his vehicle to a stop. At that point his biggest asset is momentum and size. Ducking below the dashboard and keeping his foot on the gas would have been much more conducive to keeping him alive than stopping the vehicle. However, I digress.

Once the vehicle has been brought to a stop, two shooters on either side of the vehicle pop up and open fire on the driver. This is where we have to figure out why the driver was in the rear of the vehicle when he was shot. After inspection, we find that the parking brake was set. We hypothesize that he set the brake to slowly bring the vehicle to a stop, and this being an RV, going to the rear perhaps for his gun. We will never know of that part though, because any gun that might have been in the vehicle is no longer there.

At this point my dad wonders why only 2 shots were fired on the driver's side, but 9 on the passenger side. Also, there were 9 rounds in the body, and although the body spun during the fire, we can see that it is possible that all rounds in the body came from the passenger side. At this point it would be helpful to have technology to determine whether they all came from the same gun. I notice that towards the rear of the vehicle there are curtains which are pulled, but only on the driver's side. I am of the opinion that what happened was that as the vehicle was rolling he moved to the rear and so the shooter on the driver's side only had a glimpse of him, hence only two ill-aimed shots (per our ballistics).

Using ballistics from the holes in the passenger side of the vehicle we can see that all 9 shots from that side were fired almost in the same spot. Alas, had the victim had the curtains pulled on that side also, he might have had a fighting chance. My dad agrees with my conclusion and at this point there is not much else to do with this case. In this day and age, tire treads are too universal, DNA samples nonexistent, and mob hits far too common for us to do more, other than keep our ears to the street.

At this point I realize that the RV is now somehow on a platform high above water. I exit the RV to have a look down and suddenly a bunch of women appear and enter the RV, shaking the platform so violently that I fall off the side. I manage to grab the edge, but I begin to slip, for that side of the platform is sinking badly. As my dad rushes to pull me up, the entire platform collapses and everything plunges 200 feet towards the water.

I simply keep my body straight, hoping the water is deep and that I can plunge beneath the massive weight coming down above my head. I do so and come back up when I can, avoiding falling timbers and vehicles. I begin looking for my dad and although it seems I find everyone else, I can't find him. My mother appears on the scene asking if I think he is okay. I really don't have an answer for her but tell her I am sure he is and keep looking. I don't find him.


At that point I woke up.

Tonight we ride, right or wrong
Tonight we sail, on a radio song
Rescue me, should I go down
If I stay too long in trouble town

Oh, yeah, you wreck me, baby
You break me in two
But you move me, honey
Yes you do


Current Mood: [mood icon] blank

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